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Honestly, unless you have a lot of money, I don't think that you will find THE house. We have built 3 times and there are always things we would have liked but either the builder refused to do it or it was so expensive to do it through a builder. Also remember that you are still young and will probably move a few more times.
Try to look at houses when you are fresh. When you get tired or overwhelmed you tend to settle. If you have no time constraints you can look until you find something close to perfect. Don't rush it. In our current house we had pretty strict time constraints so we basically had to settle.
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Lovin' being a mommy!
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