Help me with my brother, please...

[Sexy Strawberry]

Hi all

I apologize, I think this post will be quite long, but I'll try to make it as short as possible. I really appreciate any input you can give because this has me a bit worried.

The problem is my brother. He is 13 years-old. He's a very intelligent boy, I don't say it because he's my brother, but he really is, besides he has a really good memory. Psychologists at school have said the same. For some reason, he looks like he wants to destroy himself. Let me elaborate. He is a bad student, he eats like there is no tomorrow, he gets obsessed over things, he lies all the time...

A bad student: he gets bad grades, it looks like he doesn't care. I can't get it because he's intelligent and in his grade there isn't much to study, even normal/not so smart children can learn, why doesn't he want to learn! He says he doesn't like studying. He's promised that this year he will change. He's starting school on Monday, but I won't be at home anymore (just some weekends) so until Christmas I won't see his results. I don't trust him at all.

He eats a lot: he was always a skinny active guy, at some point in time he started to eat a lot. And no, there is no way to stop him. He doesn't like sports, on the other hand, he has classes from 8.30am till 5.30pm, then he takes English classes and has a bunch of homework (which he doesn't do many times), so even if he wanted he wouldn't have time to play sports. Even if we don't buy any sweets, he just eats bread, or yoghourts or drinks milk. It's impossible to keep him away from food. We eat kind of healthy at home, but the problem is not what we eat in our meals (well, he eats twice as much as I do), but the snacks he takes the whole time. He must weigh 170lbs and he's 5'5.5" or so...

He gets obsessed: Some time ago... he would just talk about cars. Now he spends the whole time talking about computers. He doesn't like anything but computers. He doesn't like reading books, he doesn't hang out with his friends (I don't even think he has any) and if you take the computer away from him he just complains about how bored he is. Lately his new passion is Photoshop...

Some family background... my parents are sweet, caring, simply great. They always help us, they try to help him with homework (but he just doesn't allow anyone to get into his space, if you try to help him with homework he sometimes says he has no homework and there is no way to know if he's saying the truth), they go talk to the teachers, they pay extra-classes so that he gets helped not only by them but by teachres, they give him all the attention in the world... and my brother is really sensitive and sweet too as long as you don't mention school. If you see my brother's bedroom... well, he has everything! Moreover, he's travelled a lot, you can say he's a spoiled child, not in the wrong way, but he really has everything a child can dream of. We both have been treated in the same way, my parents have never had any kind of problems with me, with my brother it's exactly the opposite. I try to help my parents because when he was younger he would only listen to me (he was always kind of naughty) but now he doesn't listen to anyone. He's 13, I know it's not an easy age, but his behavior is not normal at all.

The thing that encouraged me to write this all is that I was looking in his computer (not spying, he was sitting next to me actually) and found a picture made with Paintshop. It's a headstone with his name, then the sentence "even I hate myself" and under that 1992-2005. I was so in shock! I asked him what the hell is going on with him, he laughed and said that was something dumb he made but nothing serious. I don't know anymore, if he was a bit normal I could believe him, but now I don't know anymore...

What do you think about this all? Thank you so much for reading :)

[Sexy Strawberry]

I wanted to add something:
My dad decided my brother won't touch the computer anymore when the classes start (on Monday).
He had a Playstation 2, well, he doesn't haven't it anymore, my dad hid it.

[pikachu0519]

Maria, I am so sorry that you're so worried about your brother, and I would like to tell you that you shouldn't be, but I can't. Your brother definitely needs some intervention. The overeating, his lack of interest in school, not to mention the tombstone graphic are definitely not good signs, and sound like he is possibly depressed.

I had an eating disorder when I was in highschool, and it peaked when I was away at university. I would binge eat to the point that I felt sick, but wouldn't allow myself to throw up like bulemics do. Sometimes I would force myself to eat sweets, but other times, it was anything I could get my hands on. During this whole time, I withdrew from most of my friends; didn't go out with them anymore like I always had before. I was skipping classes, and not doing my homework or assignments, and basically just didn't care. I was very down on myself and just felt like I wasn't worthy of anything. Now I'm not saying that your brother has the same problem I did, but it sounds very similar, and if not, his symptoms are very good indicators of depression.

What do you parents say about his behavior? I finally went and got help on my own after fessing up to my roommate/best friend. But when I went home and told my Mom that I was being treated for depression, she sort of brushed it off, and said that a lot of people indulge in food when they're upset about something. I tried to explain that I wasn't indulging, I was making myself eat a whole cake, or a whole large container of ice cream, even though it was making me feel sick and I was crying through the whole process. It wasn't over-indulging in a little sweet treat to make myself feel better. But my Mom just didn't want to hear that I guess. She wasn't cruel about it, I think she just didn't want to think anything was that wrong. But back then, even though it was only 10-15 years ago, depression wasn't as openly discussed as it is now.

I would say talk to your parents about it, and express your concern. The tombstone graphic may have just been him playing around, but something like that is never something to be taken lightly. Stress to your parents that he needs to talk to someone. Whatever your parents reaction, keep forcing the issue until you get the response you're looking for. Just be prepared, because it may be a difficult process in getting him to see someone. It took me years of being miserable and hating myself before I was willing to go and talk to someone. But once I did, I literally felt like I had the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders.

I'll be hoping and praying that you can help your brother get things worked out. Keep us posted. *hugs*

[meliz]

I think alot of what you describe would describe "normal" annoying (and unhealthy) teenage behaviour. Eeating junk food, too much TV/video gaming sounds pretty typical of teenaged boys and girls... what kinda disturbs me is that this is abnormal for him.

I agree with Pam... I don't think you can brush it off. It might be nothing, in which case he'll be pissed about it all, but he'll get over it. No big deal. But if it is something more sinister, like depression, intervening can save his life. Besides you know him as well as anyone on earth-- if you think there's something wrong you might be right and should pursue your gut instinct. Best case scenario, you're wrong and you've embarassed him.

If he is really bright but still hates school... it might be that he needs to be challenged. Are there advanced classes he could take? Hub was "gifted" but he HATED school and did poorly as a result, until he found teachers and classes that really piqued his interest.

It also sounds to me like he might be too busy. He's just a kid -- and I think it is very important for kids to have free time for sports or whatever. I think this is also a problem facing kids today-- there's such competition to be successful (which is good in some ways) but at what expense? Social lives? Exercise? Balance is important and maybe he needs to free up time to be a kid?

I guess my advice is: pursue this. It would be awful if he needed help and didn't get it. Good luck! You're a fantastic big sister!

[Sexy Strawberry]

Maria, I am so sorry that you're so worried about your brother, and I would like to tell you that you shouldn't be, but I can't. Your brother definitely needs some intervention. The overeating, his lack of interest in school, not to mention the tombstone graphic are definitely not good signs, and sound like he is possibly depressed.
Thank you so much for taking your time to answer :), I too think that he needs some help...

I had an eating disorder when I was in highschool, and it peaked when I was away at university. I would binge eat to the point that I felt sick, but wouldn't allow myself to throw up like bulemics do. Sometimes I would force myself to eat sweets, but other times, it was anything I could get my hands on. During this whole time, I withdrew from most of my friends; didn't go out with them anymore like I always had before. I was skipping classes, and not doing my homework or assignments, and basically just didn't care. I was very down on myself and just felt like I wasn't worthy of anything. Now I'm not saying that your brother has the same problem I did, but it sounds very similar, and if not, his symptoms are very good indicators of depression.
I think there are some similarities between what you say and what my brother does, although I still have the hope that this stage will come where he will start getting interested in girls and then he will want to lose weight and will start going out with friends (he's still too childish, I don't think he has already had some interest in a girl) .
He's never interested in going out either, not even with my parents or with me...
I'm sorry you went through that... what was the reason why that happened? Was that just a moment of your life or was there something that caused it?

What do you parents say about his behavior?
They both wonder why he behaves like that, but none of them has an answer. You know, when a child behaves in the wrong way everyone blames the parents... they just don't know what to do with him. They give him as much attention as they can, but you know, if someone doesn't want to get any attention there is no way to force them. On the one hand they try to give him everything to motivate him, but then, he's the kind of person who just doesn't care. He loved his PlayStation 2, but the day my dad hid it he just said "alright... I don't care" and he knows that all he has to do is to have a good behavior at school. Now my dad has said he won't have his computer anymore and he's told him that if by Christmas he's improved his behavior he will have a new computer (so that he has a motivation)... but he seems sooo passive. It looks like nothing can make him happy or sad...
He failed in French at school, he's had private classes this Summer and the teacher said his level is superior to the level of the class (my dad had helped him a lot with French) but then he just goes and makes a lot of dumb mistakes in the exam.

I finally went and got help on my own after fessing up to my roommate/best friend. But when I went home and told my Mom that I was being treated for depression, she sort of brushed it off, and said that a lot of people indulge in food when they're upset about something. I tried to explain that I wasn't indulging, I was making myself eat a whole cake, or a whole large container of ice cream, even though it was making me feel sick and I was crying through the whole process. It wasn't over-indulging in a little sweet treat to make myself feel better. But my Mom just didn't want to hear that I guess. She wasn't cruel about it, I think she just didn't want to think anything was that wrong. But back then, even though it was only 10-15 years ago, depression wasn't as openly discussed as it is now.
Awww Pikachu, I'm glad it's over for you... it's very good that you were able to talk about it. My brother will never admit he has a problem.
He eats a lot, but he does it because he has hunger... and he has hunger because he's used to eating a lot. His main problem is that he has no self-control I guess...

I would say talk to your parents about it, and express your concern. The tombstone graphic may have just been him playing around, but something like that is never something to be taken lightly. Stress to your parents that he needs to talk to someone. Whatever your parents reaction, keep forcing the issue until you get the response you're looking for. Just be prepared, because it may be a difficult process in getting him to see someone. It took me years of being miserable and hating myself before I was willing to go and talk to someone. But once I did, I literally felt like I had the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders.
My parents and I have talked about this a lot... and we've talked to him too. If you talk to him about it he just doesn't answer, he either leaves the room or just looks at you and gives no answer. I told my mom about the tombstone, I showed it to her and she was in shock like I was.
We've talked about taking him to a psychologist, but in my family nobody believes in them. I just think that if he can't talk about it with us then he won't talk about it at all if we take him to a stranger like a psychologist. I will however ask my parents to take him a psychologist, although first we want to see his first results at school. Maybe he will improve as he promised (he actually improved a bit last year, not enough, but he did improve).

I'll be hoping and praying that you can help your brother get things worked out. Keep us posted. *hugs*
Thanks! That was very kind of you :hug:

[Sexy Strawberry]

I think alot of what you describe would describe "normal" annoying (and unhealthy) teenage behaviour. Eeating junk food, too much TV/video gaming sounds pretty typical of teenaged boys and girls... what kinda disturbs me is that this is abnormal for him.
I guess that this abnormal behavior is kind of normal in teenagers, but not in such a big amount. If you let him he will be 24h in front of the pc and NEVER go out, before one had to push him out of the house so that he went out, now he goes out if you tell him to go, but if you don't tell him anything he will stay at home every single day of his life.
Eating junk food is usual too... but he's gotten to a point that his stomach has become quite big and he eats much more than what could be considred normal...

I agree with Pam... I don't think you can brush it off. It might be nothing, in which case he'll be pissed about it all, but he'll get over it. No big deal. But if it is something more sinister, like depression, intervening can save his life. Besides you know him as well as anyone on earth-- if you think there's something wrong you might be right and should pursue your gut instinct. Best case scenario, you're wrong and you've embarassed him.
He could be depressed, although sometimes I think he can't... I just don't know. I think he definitely has a problem, but I think it is that he has no self-control, he wants to do things right I'm sure about that, but I think he can't control himself. He has no sense of responsability but he realizes that my parents work hard so that he can have everything he needs and I think he feels guilty because he doesn't behave as he should...
Do you think that taking him to a psychologist could help? I think he just wouldn't talk to him, if he doesn't talk to us... then how would he talk to a stranger I wonder. It's soooo hard to talk to him...

If he is really bright but still hates school... it might be that he needs to be challenged. Are there advanced classes he could take? Hub was "gifted" but he HATED school and did poorly as a result, until he found teachers and classes that really piqued his interest.
There are no advanced classes... no special classes, this is a quiet small town. But you're right, he needs to be challenged, in fact when he likes a teacher he works hard, but that doesn't happen most of the time. For example he had a teacher of Spanish who was very friendly and nice (according to him), well, the teacher says he's very smart and good on his subject. He just doesn't get adapted to this society.

It also sounds to me like he might be too busy. He's just a kid -- and I think it is very important for kids to have free time for sports or whatever. I think this is also a problem facing kids today-- there's such competition to be successful (which is good in some ways) but at what expense? Social lives? Exercise? Balance is important and maybe he needs to free up time to be a kid?
He's definitely too busy, next year his schooltime will be reduced and he will be free at 2.20pm. It will be much better. There's no need to spend the whole day at school, but I think the reason is that nowadays all parents work and they don't have anyone to take care of the children so the schools make sure that the kids are there the whole day, the problem is that then they also have a lot of homework. I don't agree at all with this system, but the fact is that it's the same for everyone so if others have to "suffer" it then he has to get adapted as well.

I guess my advice is: pursue this. It would be awful if he needed help and didn't get it. Good luck! You're a fantastic big sister!
Thank you!!! Well, he deserves a good sister, he's a really good brother. My mom always says it... he'd do anything for me. And one thing that I am sure of... if there's someone in the world to whom he would pay attention, then that's me. My parents always ask me to talk to him when they want him to do something because he takes my advice :)

[HeavenLeigh]

I'm sorry you're going thru this with your brother. I think it's great that you (being young yourself) are concerned and active in his life.
It sounds like he's in a deep depression. My guess (from what I have read) it has to do nothing with family life, but his social/school life. Maybe he's being bullied? Teased? Has a bad self image? I dunno......but whatever it is that headstone he made is a huge cry for help. One that is often overlooked or not even known until it's too late. I'm not trying to scare you (maybe it's a normal 13 year old boy behaviour, who really knows what goes on in the mind of teen boy?) but I have seen a lot of teens committ suicide, turn to drugs, or even ending up lashing out at peers because they were depressed or being picked on. Do whatever it takes to get him the help he needs. He probably wouldn't admit to being depressed and probably would buck against the idea of therapy (no shame in it, I think we could all use it at times) but he really does need evaluated at the least.
I hope all goes well with him! Be sure to keep us updated.

[Sexy Strawberry]

I'm sorry you're going thru this with your brother. I think it's great that you (being young yourself) are concerned and active in his life.
It sounds like he's in a deep depression. My guess (from what I have read) it has to do nothing with family life, but his social/school life. Maybe he's being bullied? Teased? Has a bad self image?
Yeah... he's being bullied. He doesn't talk about it, he wouldn't admit something that he finds so embarassing. There are a group of boys of his age who are teased and bullied. His character is very weak and he can't defend himself :(, the mother of a boy from his class (who is bullied as well) often tells my mom about what the other boys do. Once a group of boys attacked my bro in the middle of the street, fortunately a lady saw them and stopped them, otherwhise who knows what would have happened. He was attacked by 5 and of course against 5 there is nothing you can do. These 5 attacked him because once at school a boy was making fun of my bro, my brother punched him and he had his nose stitched up. Everyone in the school knows that boy makes trouble and for the first time my brother defended himself (yay, I was so proud!) but it looks like that boy has a big group of friends... if you ask him if he gets bullied he will say "NO", he will never admit it.

I dunno......but whatever it is that headstone he made is a huge cry for help. One that is often overlooked or not even known until it's too late. I'm not trying to scare you (maybe it's a normal 13 year old boy behaviour, who really knows what goes on in the mind of teen boy?) but I have seen a lot of teens committ suicide, turn to drugs, or even ending up lashing out at peers because they were depressed or being picked on. Do whatever it takes to get him the help he needs. He probably wouldn't admit to being depressed and probably would buck against the idea of therapy (no shame in it, I think we could all use it at times) but he really does need evaluated at the least.
I hope all goes well with him! Be sure to keep us updated.
I don't find the headstone normal at all, he found it funny, he didn't see anything wrong in it but he got embarassed after seeing my reaction, gosh, how should I react when I see a headstone of my brother where it says that he died in 2005!!! Is he insane????
My dad is coming home tomorrow, because of his work is abroad very often (that is also a problem from my brother, he doesn't see my dad as often as he should) and I'll talk to him, I'll tell him about the headstone. I don't care what he says, I think he should be evaluated, you girls are right.

Thanks girl!!! :)

[Sydneyp]

It looks like nothing can make him happy or sad...
That pretty much is depression.
Sometimes a depression is normal. His isn't, it sounds pathological.
I'm glad you're talking to your dad - sometimes this stuff is caused by hormones. Maybe if your dad took him to someone who specialises in bullied kids, it wouldn't seem so scary to your family or your brother - and though that's not likely the whole of the problem, the skills he would learn might help him deal with the other negatives he's feeling.
It's not unusual for a kid with low self-esteem to be bullied, it's like the bullies can smell it. It's also not unusual for a kid who's bullied to have low self-esteem. It's a circle.

If you sense your dad is resistant, try the bullied kid angle - that's a tangible problem rather than an admission that there's 'something wrong' with your brother.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.

[HeavenLeigh]

Now I understand the big picture. He does need help, I know about it all too well.

I was bullied in grade school. I was so quiet *yeah, me* and tenderhearted that any kind of wrong remark would make me cry plus I was born blind in my left eye and apparently kids found that to be hilarious. I remember being so desperate and fed up I thought I would explode. I hated school, I hated my peers, and most of all I hated myself. I even started becoming annorexic by the time I was 12-13 even tho I was very small.
I guess that's why I'd fight the devil himself right now. I'd rather pop someone in the mouth and get my :moon: beat than to take any lip. That transitioin happend in the summer between my 8th grade and freshman year. The very beginning of my HS career the same ol group of trashy girls (that has done absolutely nothing with their life besides drugs and being sluts I'm happy to report) thought they would get me in HS and torment me the way the did before......they sure got a wake up call.
Being tortured really sucked and I do know what your brother is going thru but it took my older cousins to be there telling me that I was pretty, I was smart, I was a good person, God made me special, etc... for me to gain the self confidence to show them that I wasn't scared of them and they didn't have a thing I wanted. That's what your brother needs, some self love. Those sorry bullies (bullies are a real sore spot on my arse, I loathe a bully) has ruined his self love. My guess that's why he isn't excelling in school.......he doesn't want to stand out or above anyone.
I know martial arts is a great way to learn discipline and gain confidence. Maybe you can get him interested in something like that.
Good luck.......I wish I could talk to your brother, noone deserves to be humiliated.

[Sydneyp]

Great post Heavenleigh -

I totally agree that he might not doing well in school because he'd stand out more, and also because all his desires and emotions are depressed right now.

[heather6773]

I'm sorry your brother has to go thru this. Its hard to watch but you are doing the right thing stepping in. Some day he will look back and know it was you who took the time and pulled him out of this. Martial Arts are great. My boys stufy Jun Gung Fu. What a difference. Its been almost a year and their self-confidence is much better than it used to be. They are not allowed to use it in a malicious way but they know its there should they need it. I can't believe 5 punks would do that to one boy. Good luck Maria!!! Please update us....

[Sexy Strawberry]

That pretty much is depression.
Sometimes a depression is normal. His isn't, it sounds pathological.
I'm glad you're talking to your dad - sometimes this stuff is caused by hormones. Maybe if your dad took him to someone who specialises in bullied kids, it wouldn't seem so scary to your family or your brother - and though that's not likely the whole of the problem, the skills he would learn might help him deal with the other negatives he's feeling.
It's not unusual for a kid with low self-esteem to be bullied, it's like the bullies can smell it. It's also not unusual for a kid who's bullied to have low self-esteem. It's a circle.

If you sense your dad is resistant, try the bullied kid angle - that's a tangible problem rather than an admission that there's 'something wrong' with your brother.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.
Thank you Sydney!
I'll tell my parents about that... the big problem is that according to him he's not bullied. We know he is because the mom of a friend of him talks to my mom and has told her that... otherwise we wouldn't know it. Before taking him to a specialist he should admit he's being bullied, or isn't it necessary??? Is there a way to make him confess?
For example, last year he "lost" two school books, he didn't tell my parents because he was embarassed, finally the teacher called saying he hadn't brought his books for like a month or two. Then he told my parents he had lost them and my parents asked him why he hadn't said it before... the other kids stole his books and for that reason he didn't say anything, but he hasn't admitted yet that the books were stolen.
That's a good point, a tangible problem like being bullied is better than just assuming there's something wrong with him, thanks :)

[Sexy Strawberry]

I was bullied in grade school. I was so quiet *yeah, me* and tenderhearted that any kind of wrong remark would make me cry plus I was born blind in my left eye and apparently kids found that to be hilarious. I remember being so desperate and fed up I thought I would explode. I hated school, I hated my peers, and most of all I hated myself. I even started becoming annorexic by the time I was 12-13 even tho I was very small.
I guess that's why I'd fight the devil himself right now. I'd rather pop someone in the mouth and get my :moon: beat than to take any lip. That transitioin happend in the summer between my 8th grade and freshman year. The very beginning of my HS career the same ol group of trashy girls (that has done absolutely nothing with their life besides drugs and being sluts I'm happy to report) thought they would get me in HS and torment me the way the did before......they sure got a wake up call.
Oh I'm sorry you went through that... But I can tell you I'm surprised, you sound like a very strong woman.... I hope my brother grows to be a strong man too.

Being tortured really sucked and I do know what your brother is going thru but it took my older cousins to be there telling me that I was pretty, I was smart, I was a good person, God made me special, etc... for me to gain the self confidence to show them that I wasn't scared of them and they didn't have a thing I wanted. That's what your brother needs, some self love. Those sorry bullies (bullies are a real sore spot on my arse, I loathe a bully) has ruined his self love. My guess that's why he isn't excelling in school.......he doesn't want to stand out or above anyone.
I know martial arts is a great way to learn discipline and gain confidence. Maybe you can get him interested in something like that.
Good luck.......I wish I could talk to your brother, noone deserves to be humiliated.
Martial arts are good yes, he took Karate classes two years ago, but then, because he had so much homework and taking extra English classes is a priority for us he had to give up Karate. He didn't like it though, but my parents wanted that he did some sport.
I think that at home he's a person and at school he's another person, at home he is strong, because he knows we love him and pay attention to him. At school he's probably the opposite. I think we can't do more for his self-esteem than we already do, because we never humiliate him... the problem is the kids in the school and we can't do anything against that. I wish I could go and slap them all :mad: sorry about being violent, but I just can't stand that kids are so cruel, if they see someone is weaker they just attack them, and they come in big groups so that the weak kid can't defend himself...!


If he finally admitted that he's bullied at school... what could he could against 5 or even more kids? :huh:

[Sexy Strawberry]

I'm sorry your brother has to go thru this. Its hard to watch but you are doing the right thing stepping in. Some day he will look back and know it was you who took the time and pulled him out of this. Martial Arts are great. My boys stufy Jun Gung Fu. What a difference. Its been almost a year and their self-confidence is much better than it used to be. They are not allowed to use it in a malicious way but they know its there should they need it. I can't believe 5 punks would do that to one boy. Good luck Maria!!! Please update us....

Thanks Heather! I really wish he'd take Karate classes this year. School starts on Monday and these extra-classes start in October, I'll convince him to go! :D He'll say he won't have time, but since he won't have anything to do at home because he won't be able to turn on the computer... I hope we can convince him :D


Thank you all for your answers, you're all very kind... it's great to see that although we don't know each other every time I've posted something asking for help I always get friendy, helpful and comprehensive answers. A big :hug: to you all!!!

[HeavenLeigh]

If he admitted to being bullied that would be a big step. All 5 of those little thugs would think twice to gang up on him if they knew once they were alone he would jump out of a bush with a baseball bat on their rumps.
He needs to know deep down that's why they are bullies. They are too whimpy and ignorant to act alone, that's why they gang up. In his mind he thinks that he's the lone loser with no friends and there's 5 of them and they have each other's back. I hope very soon he realizes that it's the other way around.
I'm a Dr. Phil fanatic, your brother's story reminded me of one of his shows. Here is the link, it was very moving. It may have some advice on it or something you can read to/with him and discuss. Right now he needs to know he's not alone, he feels isolated and scared. Hopefully someone's simular story can give him hope.
http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/511 (http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/511)

[Sydneyp]

Admitting to being bullied would be a bonus, but I think unneccessary for your purposes. A professional would be able to help him with his self-love and with skills for dealing with bullies without him first saying that he's being bullied. Nothing is worse for a bullied kid than having their mom storm the houses of their bullies to talk to the other mothers - it only makes the bullies madder. If, however, he somehow got the nerve to catch them one at a time and beat the shit out of them, that would likely solve the problem. I don't think this will happen, he likely has neither the physical ability nor the mental determination for that.

Unfortunately, sometimes, if the situation is really serious, pulling them out of the environment, at least for a time, is necessary.

[Sexy Strawberry]

Thanks girls!

Yesterday I talked to him about the bullies, he admitted he had been bullied by those 5, but then he said it was because of the fight he had with that other guy and that after that he had been ok.

My mom says he's much better than last year, at least he hasn't complained because of school, which is starting on Monday! My mom's opinion is that we should wait to see how he reacts these first weeks of school, if his behavior is so positive as we think it is, then we should leave it this way, if he seems to be depressed then we should do something.

Sydney... I think they attack him because he's weak in the emotional sense, it's easy to hurt his feelings, too easy! But if you see him, he's tall and strong, stronger than the other kids, nobody would bull him if they didn't realize that he's so sensitive.

Krysty, thanks for the link, the page looks good! I'm going to check the videos now...

By the way, I won't post for a while, tomorrow I'm going to Madrid, the uni is starting on Monday and I won't have internet for a while because I'm going to a flat where there is no internet and we have to wait till it comes, hopefully in two weeks or so :D

Take care and thanks for your help, it was useful!!! :D :hug:

[meliz]

Glad your Bro is doing better this year... good for you for talking about this w/ your mom. Have fun getting settled back at school-- seeing old friends, decorating your new flat etc. Take care!