What would you expect your DH....

[HeavenLeigh]

to do or say if your IL's were constantly bashing you?

What would you do or say if your family constatnly bashed him?

[Mel-icious]

#1 There wouldn't be a "constantly" about it. First time would be the last time for either one of us. Neither of us would stand for an ill word towards the other, not from friends, family, or strangers. In our eyes it is unacceptable. ;)

[Csara]

LOL...my DH would tell them to F off...really. BUT...I honestly can't imagine either side of our families saying anything bad about either of us.

[veda]

I don't hold people to MY expectations & anyone I marry will be just as clear. Which sounds like an expectation within itself, I just don't believe I'd marry a person who didn't hold up same wisdom & strengths of life that I have learned so far.

Knowing bf & my families I don't think there is anything but love & acceptance, blessedly:)

[pikachu0519]

Luckily we've never had to deal with this and I would hope, never will. My family loves dh, and vice versa (or so I'm told:eyebrow: ). However, if Michael were faced with this issue, I know, without a doubt, he would tell his family to take a flying leap (ok, that's probably nicer than he would put it). He wouldn't even bat an eye. Same goes for me. We are an extension of one another; if someone says something bad about one of us, they're insulting us both. That just doesn't fly, and I pity the person who tries to give it wings!:evil:

[angelrenee]

We went through this with my MIL, but luckily, it was caused by a new drug she'd been put on. Once they found out how it was affecting her, they took her off of it.

Anyway, DH just tried as much as he could to tell her the things she was saying weren't true without being drug into the fight. Basically, you didn't want to cross her lest she decide she hated you too.

She likes me now, so we're all cool. :cool:

[Margarita]

Most of you know we've had problems with DH's parents. They weren't exactly "constantly bashing" me; it was just quite obvious that they didn't like me. Well, it was obvious to me and my family. DH didn't see it for a while. He assured me that they had no problems with me. I think for a while it was his way of trying not to lose his family.

IMHO, this is one of those easier said than done things. If they had ever said anything nasty about me to him or in front of me, I'm sure he wouldn't have put up with it. But with milder implications and us just not getting along, it was really hard for him. When it all finally hit the fan (at our wedding/reception), he sent a letter demanding an apology and saying we wanted nothing to do with them until we got it. We didn't speak for 8 months. We finally went to them to try to work it out because DH didn't want to lose all contact with his family. Things got a little better but not much. 2 1/2 years later, though, things are a little better again. We finally got an apology from his mom. His dad has never apologized for anything in his life, so we aren't expecting one.

All that being said, there were times I wished DH (at the time bf, later fiance) would have stood up for me better. But I realized that he was raised that you respect your elders no matter what (it's a cultural thing for them). I knew it was very hard for him. He was being forced to choose. He chose me in the end, but making that choice was the hardest thing he's ever done in his life. I think it's the hardest thing he will ever do.

Through all of it, I always told him I'd tell my parents off if they ever treated him that way. But I have a different relationship with my parents. I could have told them what's what, and they would have listened, thought about it, seen the error of their ways, and stopped. Then again, they would never have done that in the first place. Anyway, his parents just don't listen. He's the child and has no right to tell them how to do anything. Real mature, isn't it. :rolleyes: