Why do I have such bad luck??

[lovebug]

I have been seeing this guy for like a month now. I think he is nice and I think he likes me. Well the few weekends that we have had time to spend time together he always goes off and does something with his friends. Goes to parties and all that where all of his friends always bring their girlfriends. ??So why wont he ask me to go? We had this weird thing that happend thurs. night with his ex and he saw her at the movies and he basically didn't introduce me to these people he knew. So I asked him yesterday what are we, what are we doing?? So he says he doesnt want a serious relationship. (OK I dont want to jump into to anything so really I dont want that either.) I do however want it in the very near future. Well I got to thinking does "dating" mean see other people? So I asked him and he said yes. So I said NOPE not going to do it. I don't like doing that at all. I dont think it is right. So I told him and then I was going to leave his house and then we got to talking about sex somehow and then all of sudden he is like well how about we just see each other then. I like what we have and dont want to loose you. Well I never really gave him a answer on if I liked the idea or not. Well we went out to eat. One thing led to another and we slept together and then afterwards he says well ok I am going to that party. Talk to ya later. :eek: I was like bye. I am so hurt by this. I think maybe even more dissappointed in myself. I really think this guy is only with me to have sex whenever he wants it. Nothing else. He asks me to come over during the week but doesnt want to do anything with me during the weekend. So he calls just a second ago and is talking to me and then he says yeah I guess I will go (i wasnt talking much) and I am going to this other party. WHY wont he ask me to go???? WHY cant I find a truly good guy that is caring, and truly wants something real?? I WAnt to get married and have kids. I want that preferably before I am 30! I am not saying that I want just anyone or that I want to rush into anything. All the guys I have dated lately havent wanted anything! NOthing at all! They just want to hang out w/ their friends. WHAT am I doing WRong???

[HeavenLeigh]

The only thing you're doing wrong is meeting the wrong men. Don't feel alone sweets, I'm in the same boat. If there's a scumball within a 5 mile radius I'll attract him :rolleyes:


I miss having someone to come home to, having someone to hold me, etc.... so bad I can hardly stand it. I also want someone I can share life with, someone to love and hold and depend on.......but that doesn't seem to be in the cards right now. I'll play with what I'm dealt and hope for a better hand next time.

I hope you feel better soon. Lots of love. If you need anyone to talk to I'm here.

[HeavenLeigh]

BTW......I would love to offer words of advice or insight on your problem but if I knew how a man's mind functioned and why they done this or didn't do that......I sure wouldn't be in the shape I'm in right now :D

I think you should turn the tables on him. Don't answer his calls for a couple days at a time, when he has plans w/ his friends go out w/ yours (pretend to have these wonderful plans if you have to), etc.... He may just see what an ass he's being and stop all the silliness. Whatever you do act like you could care less one way or the other.

[MiLady Mirlyn]

Personally, I've found that when I'm not in any kind of relationship, and I'm finally in a good frame of mind where I'm happy with myself and I realize that I'm enjoying my freedom... that's when men come out of the woodwork.

When I feel it in my heart, that I'm glad to be single 'cuz I don't have anyone to answer to, don't have to tell anyone where I'm going, when, or why... that's when I get asked out all over the place... then it's my turn to decide who I'll date, when, etc.

You need to feel confident in yourself and enjoy your time with your friends... don't worry (yeah-easier said than done, I know) about him or what he's doing... or who he's doing it with... like Heavenleigh said, turn the tables on him...

Go out with your friends and don't invite him... enjoy being your own person... If it's meant to be, it'll happen... if not, then you're better off and you'll find someone better.

I wanted to find "the one" for me before I was 30 too... I found him and we were married two weeks before I turned 31... Now I'm married to a wonderful man and I realize it doesn't matter about my age.

Couple words of advice...

Don't worry, you'll find the right one

Don't settle because you're worried that you won't find anyone else

Be confident in yourself... you don't need anyone... you just want someone... there's a difference!

Sex on your terms... don't worry about what's going to happen afterwards... will he leave? will he stay? Enjoy the passion in the moment and be selfish about it... when you find the right man, then you can give more of yourself. For now... "take!"

Well, that's my 2 cents. I was in your boat before I met my husband and this is the formula I came up with and for me... it worked. And most of my friends who are in good relationships, they pretty much did the same things.

The old saying, "If you love something, set it free. If it's meant to be yours, it will return..." is very true.

Good luck and keep us posted!

[HeavenLeigh]

Lovebug, MM is so totally right. I have found this to be true also.

I'm going to Pigeon Forge the 12th of July Lovebug.........you're in TN. Wanna join a bunch of rowdy gals at Blaines? Some margaritas and dancing is what we both need.

[HeavenLeigh]

BTW.........about the sex thing.
After I was dumped *my heart was broke* 2 years ago by a guy that I adored I flipped out. I didn't want a man (not to hang around or get to know), if I wanted sex I went out and got it (I wouldn't advise this......too many things to catch........Thank God I never did) and could have cared less if I hurt someone's feelings. I was out for me with no regard for anything but me. What a shame..........I was asked out more in those few months than I have ever been asked out in my life. I turned down some pretty fly guys! :scratch: Gotta stop typing........I'm starting to get some evil ideas!

[lovebug]

I know you are both right it just sucks right now. Not to mention that all of my friends are married which in turn leaves me out most of the time. I also can't decide if I do want to keep this guy around for the occasional "booty call" or not. He lives right across the street!!!!! I am too the point right now that I dont want to even think about trying to ever get in another relationship. It always turns out bad. :rolleyes: I know...I know someday I will find the right one

[HeavenLeigh]

I'm there in the sinking boat with ya.

I look at it like this.........at least we don't have the stress of worrying about someone else, trying to make a relationship work, answering to anyone, and can do what we please/when we please.

We need a good girls night out.

[lovebug]

Yes we do need a girls night out! :beer: :beer: :beer: