Friends and their kids

[time2fly]

Before I start this discussion, let it be known that I feel we don't have to agree with how others "parent" their children, but we have to "respect" it. I'm not a perfect parent by any means, nor are my kids. But I run a pretty strict household, with lots of love and positive reinforcement.

But still, I run into this problem. Anyone have good friends that they really enjoy? But when it comes to their parenting and their kids behavior, it drives you nuts?

Anyhow, I have a few friends that are awesome. But it's very stressful to be around them and their kids. Everything is so chaotic and out of control. Anyone else relate?

[lovebug]

I total know what you mean. Part of my problem is that I don't have kids so I notice it more. I have actualled stopped calling one of my girlfriends b/c her daughter came with her the last time and tore all my cookbooks up and her mom never said a word to her. I think if the parent is there it is not my place to discpline them but in this case after she had tore up two books I had to say something to her and her mom just laughed about it!! I was so mad! It seems like so many people just let their kids go wild and ignore the bad behavior.

[rdy2rac with]

Lets just say that my sister's kids listen to me more than either of their parents. When I went up to my mom's during my pregnancy, my sister (she's 36?), her husband (who wasn't working, by choice) & her 3 kids lived there along with mom & her 8? kids. As I sat on the porch with another sister (11), the older one was sitting there talking to us breast feeding her little one (several months old) while her 6 year old climbed all over the 2 of them & her husband yelled from inside the house to get her to "take care of" their other daughter. When she finally went in the house the 11 year old said to me "Your kids will never be that way will they?"

For what its worth, I do discipline other people's kids if they're in my house (parents or no parents). I made some comments to my neice (total spoiled brat) & my MIL told me that I didn't need to speak "hateful". Say what you want but in MY house you need to follow MY rules.

[suzieq728]

Yeah I can relate. My cousin is a doll and I love her to death, we have so much fun together, except when her kids are around. They are spoiled rotten, and they just run amok.
About a month ago I threw her & her kids out!! Yepp, I told her I love her dearly and I love the kids too, but when it comes to my computer you dont give your 2 yrs old my mouse to play with cause it will keep her quiet :eek: Oh no... maybe your own computer, but not mine. My grandchildern dont come over and break things in my home.... My granddaughter is only 5 yrs old, and she uses the computer so it's not that I dont want the kids useing it, I just want my belongings respected. And if they cant be respected, well out you go...... Love ya, see ya, bye bye LOL... :D

[meliz]

hee hee, I am totally guilty of being an armchair parent. I have no kids, but still think I know how to parent. :) Okay, so I am really unentitled to comment on others' child rearing, but does that stop me? Heh heh. Actually, I can comment on how I would, theoretically raise kids (not the same as doing it I know). And I watch family and friends do it and think "I will never do that" or "That's really great."

Things I will never do: My SIL is full of these. She is creating a monster. My niece is sweet, but also a total brat. And it's not her fault. Her mom has set no boundaries whatsoever. The kid has no bed time-- heck she stays up later than me!). She gets everthing she wants. She can do what she wants when she wants. She is allowed to watch TV every waking hour. So wrong, IMO. The child is the absolute centre of the universe (as he she should be, to a degree, but I think parents and kids need other things to do than just hang out with each other). Her Mom APOLOGIZES to her if she gets a scolding (!), and SIL makes my bro the bad guy to get discipline results. It's all so frustrating to watch. That three year old is in control in that household. But to their credit they are learning I think. And baby 2 is due at X-mas so that will also be an additional learning curve.

But a friend of mine is doing it totally right. The kids have toys, but aren't spolied and so they appreciate what they have. They have parents who hang out with them, but also have "Mommy and Daddy" time too. The kids know that they do not have free reign to do what they want, when they want. They have respect for their parents. They have a bed time (7:30, also later than me:)). I think that structure is what kids need most. ANd there you have it. Parenting lessons from the childless. :)

[HeavenLeigh]

OMG, my friend Mary constantly bickers and yells at her little girl. The girl whines, Mary yells, the girl whines more, Mary yells more.......and so on.
I swear to God, it's enough to drive anyone to the nut hut.

[Deana]

yeah, it's pretty nerve wracking. I feel almost embarassed for the parents that don't have control over their kids or are "afraid" to discipline their kids.
However, my best friend has two boys (5 and 1) and I completely respect her parenting style, so much in fact that I will probably try to do a LOT of things that she has done/is doing.