Who paid/is paying for your wedding?

[tifferoo]

Df and I had a conversation yesterday about our wedding budget. I was just wondering. Who paid for your wedding if you had a formal wedding? All the sites I have read state that the groom is only responsible for the engagement ring, the wedding license and the honeymoon. Do you think that tradition still stands today?

[meliz]

Hub and I alone... we scrimped and pinched and came up with a wedding we were both happy with. We figured as we were adults (pushin 30), living on our own for 10 years, we ought to be responsible for our decision to have a wedding. So we were. The key was to go for sales, be flexible, and buy as we went to spread out the spending/help us budget. We had a sit down meal/dance for 120 for $5 grand, give or take.

I have a family of 3 cousins who expected their parents to foot their wedding bills. It was disgusting the way they fought about it. This really turned me off.

Sis is now getting married and they are paying themselves too.

PS: Oh yeah, the actual question:)... I think this tradition of set responsibilities is dying out, especially as marrying couples get older/are more established.

[Csara]

Tiff, I agree with Meliz that the tradition seems to be dying out. Situations are so different now as they were years ago. Many couples live together and share funds before the wedding already so it wouldn't make sense for one to pay and the other not to contribute. Just my opinion ofcourse, but I would find it odd for only the bride to pay or only the groom to pay for the wedding since it is supposed to be about both of you, you know? I also think the traditions might be different with different cultures. I know that some parents feel it is their priviledge to pay for their child's wedding. Just like with everything else, it all boils down to what you and DF are comfortable with and what you can afford.

[Mrs. July]

I also have the impression that the tradtion mentioned is dying out, but there are still plenty of purest out there. My in-laws were horrified to learn that my dad was not paying for our wedding and acted like it was the most embarassing thing that had ever happened to them. I was also mortified- by how selfish they were for expecting my father to foot the bill even though the majority of the guests were THEIR relatives.:bullshit:

[Lisa]

I voted bride and groom equally. We were adults, I was 28 and he was 24 and had alread been together for 5 years. Plus we knew neither of our parents could afford it.
I have an employee that go married 2 years ago. She was 30 yrs old and her dh 36, and his second marriage!!! She had her parents pay for their whole wedding. Her parents are in their early 60's go to work everday in a Hardware Store and don't have any extra money to spare.
That really pissed me off. When I said something to her she just replied, " Oh, they wan't to do it for us." I think that is a bunch of :bullshit:
I just found out the other day that she uses her mothers credit card for purchases and pays her back, the minimum payment only, each month!!! :eek: Grow up already.

[nana]

I voted Bride and Groom, but mostly the Bride. My parents are not in a situation to help me with the wedding so I have budgeted to pay for about 80% of the wedding. DF is responisble for the other 20% and the honeymoon, which his mom and dad will probably pay for. I think the traditions are dying out and that more and more couples are doing what works for them. I know that while paying for the wedding on my own, means budgeting and cutting some corners, it is nice not to have to please everyone who is contributing to the wedding. We are doing it the way we want...and that is the best feeling in the world.

Good Luck!

[Neneuu]

I voted bride, groom, and brides parents. We were both 25 when we got married and I had the 'priveledge' to move back home to save some money before the wedding. We didn't live together before getting married. This helped out a lot with the saving money... my grandmother (who raised me) wanted to help out so she pitched in a few thousand, but we came up with the rest and now we are finishing up on paying for the honeymoon a year later.

I agree that traditions are dying down... it's whoever 'wants' to chip in does and who doesn't doesn't. :)

[Mel-icious]

Tommy paid for our wedding, my father and stepmother contributed a nice check, but the huge portion of it was all Tommy. :D

[pikachu0519]

I also think the tradition is dying out. I'm sure in some upper class die hards it still plays a role, but for the general population, I don't think so.

We paid for the majority of the wedding. My mom had always insisted when we got married, that she wanted to buy my dress, so she did. I covered the alterations and accessories. My parents also paid for the dinner. We had just shy of five hundred people invited, with 250 for dinner. Can you tell I have huge families on both my parent's sides? Michael's family was very, very small compared to ours (maybe twenty people), and five of them were in the bridal party. My parents insisted that because their families made up the majority of the guest list, they would pay for dinner. Michael and I paid the deposit, and some additional charges after the fact, but they paid for the meal. We had budgeted to pay for it, but my parents insisted that they wouldn't feel comfortable if they didn't help us with this part. As for everything else, Michael and I paid for that together. We were already living together for four and a half years, so all of our money was "our money".

[rdy2rac with]

My parents paid for everything except the hall (big fiasco, my mom gave me a postdated check for it without telling me, so they cashed it & it bounced, then they said they needed cash or certified check in 2 days or we would loose the hall). Robert's parents ended up getting us the money for the hall.

We were raised that if we earned the right to wear the white dress (in my fanily that means no children out of wedlock) then we could name our wedding. granted we didn't go extravagant but we did have a very nice wedding while watching the cost (my aunt made my gown so I only had to pay for the fabric, our DJ was a family friend & his gift was his services, DJ's brother had a limo service so we got 2 limos for $150, me & Rob paid for that).

[girlzrule]

Dh and I planned our wedding in less than 6 weeks and only spent $3000...or should I say my mom only spent $3000. It was beautiful too, we had 75 guests, got married in a beautiful church and had our reception at a historical mansion in VA. We got married in December so we decorated with white lights and candles and the brides maids wore black. We had a buffet dinner too.

[tifferoo]

Thanks for all the imput ladies!!!

[andrea]

we paid for most of the wedding and trip to vegas. his parents paid for the reception there (600.00 for dinner for 6) and they paid for the whole reception here at home for 35 people also they paid for our food, and about 4 shows in vegas for us!!!

[Deana]

I too think the tradition is dying out a bit.

That said, we both have pretty tradtional parents and were very lucky - my parents paid for pretty much our entire wedding. dh bought my rings (e-ring/wedding), I bought his and we paid for our honeymoon. Dh's parents paid for our rehersal.
There were some traditional things that by 'the book' my parents weren't supposed to cover, but they did anyway (like that the groom is supposed to pay for the bride's bouquet). They didn't want to bother with splitting things like that up.

[Cheatara]

I voted for bride's parents, cause that was the closest to being right. My mom paid for my dress, part of all the brides maid's dresses, the flowers, reception venu and food, dh, chair rental...etc. We, DH and I, paid another part on all the brides maid's dresses (making it so their dresses were only $80 a piece, instead of $120 a piece), part of all the tuxes ($10 per tux), and the favor supplies. DH's dad paid $100 towards alcohol, DH's mom paid $50 towards acohol, and we paid the rest ($250).

[Cheatara]

Originally posted by Lisa

I just found out the other day that she uses her mothers credit card for purchases and pays her back, the minimum payment only, each month!!! :eek: Grow up already.

I've done this before, not the minimum, but the same general idea, cause, well the fact is that after having a credit card that she has paid on for 25+ years she has a MUCH higher credit line than we do...so like she financed our central air/heater for us, we pay her $120 each month to pay her homedepot bill (I think she has like 11k on it with a 25k credit limit 3k of it being ours)...

[Dovechild20]

Im not married yet, but ive always wondered about this question because Ive never been to a weddings, seen one planned or anything...

More than likely, i think that we will have to pay for our own wedding with maybe contributions being made from various family members and friends. Along with that, i think one of our concerns is that if someone else footed most of the wedding bill, that they will have "too much say" and try to force their opirions and what not on us, *shrugs*

[CC21]

Ours was split pretty evenly between us, and both sets of our parents. We ended up paying the most, but only by about $200-300. We didn't really say so and so is paying for this, and so and so is paying for that. It just sort of fell into place.

[MissRyry]

Woo hoo! I'm the only one who posted in my category. LOL = not! My husband paid for most (if not ALL) of our wedding. My parents said they didn't feel they owed it to me since this was not my first time to get married. His parents heard about that comment and so they said "they'd help us out." But in the end they only paid for the rehearsal dinner. And my DH was stuck with the bill.

>'.'<

[MiLady Mirlyn]

We paid for most of it ourselves... but my sister helped a lot on the extras... like the cake knife and server, plates, napkins, etc... she also got the bubbles and wrapped them in touling (sp?) and made the tags for them... she also made the centerpieces... she did quite a bit actually... all the little details that made it special. And we're thankful too because all that stuff adds up too... you don't realize it until you do it!

[babyblue]

Well because we have been living together since the day I turned 18, I wasn't expecting our families to help us pay for anything. Even the white wedding dress, that I HAVE earned, I want to pay for. But my mom is insisting they will pay for most of the dress, the flowers and split the hall/rehearsal dinner with his parents... so I guess we together will be paying for whatever is left, most likely the church, rings, and music. :)

[cdaisymay]

It was mainly Brian & I, with some help from his parents.

[yonksgirl]

we did our wedding for about $7,000! everything was great and I would not change a thing I know most wedding cost alot more. It just takes alot of research and leg work. Here is a tip look for a discontinued wedding dress mine was $350 it listed for $2,000. Good luck!

[CATsAngel]

well i didn't pick any of em cuz even though it was mostly my inlaws my parents did contribute a little toward it as well. It was pretty small and semi formal but it was sweet i guess

but as for my vow renewal ceremony/honeymoon we never had. me and Hubby are paying for that ourselves.

[angbuno]

Well our breakdown went like this

Justin and I paid for:
Our Honeymoon (Aruba, Occidental / Liberty Travel)
Grooms Attire (After Hours)
Gifts (Things Remembered)
Save the Date Cards (Kinko's paper)
All stamps(save the dates, Invitation and Return Envelope)
I paid for my sisters Maid of Honor dress (optional)(Davids Bridal)
Put money towards the Open Bar (4 hr open bar)
Reprints of Photos
Album

Grooms Parents:
DJ (Friend of Family)
Open Bar
Rehersal Dinner (Buffet style)
Photos (Friend of Family)

Brides Parents:
Flowers(Friend of Family)
Wedding Dress (Local store)
Veil (Grandmother Made)
Shoes
Ring Pillow (Grandmother Made)
Flower Girl Dress (Grandmother Made)
Wedding Night Attire (Victoria's Secrect)
Hair Do (Lords and Ladies Salon)
Dinner
Invitations (invitations by Dawn)
Bridal Shower and Food
Minister (Friend of Family)

Hope this helps you out.