Am I being insane?

[HeavenLeigh]

Today while I was gone to school my Mom came to my house. It drives me insane! Either Dad is popping in to do this or that like mowing the grass and just piddly stuff *while I'm at work* now Mom comes here knowing I was gone and then tells me I need to clean my house :fmad: "I didn't raise you like that" double :fmad: First of all, she didn't work....second my house isn't "dirty" it's cluttered. The kitchen is a disaster because I didn't get home til late and cooked. By the time I ate it was time to get ready for bed. Granted you could eat off my mom's floors I can't find the time to work/school/blah blah blah and keep my house spotless. I'm not even here *or should I say awake?* long enough to care what it looks like. I popped off to her when she said "your bedroom is horrible" my reply "Noone has any business in my bedroom and I don't mind the mess"
I gave them a key incase of emergencies. Not to come in while I'm gone and rumage thru my crap. It drives me insane. There are some things here I don't want my parents running across. My Dad is the type to go thru my things. Mom isn't but I'm sure Darek pulled out everything that shouldn't have been seen to show her.

Am I being unreasonable? I don't care for my parents to come to my house. I would like a notice so I could pick the house up AND I am pretty dead set about being here when they pop in. I'm the type that my crap is my crap. Don't touch it, don't mess with it, it's mine to deal with. As I type Tommy is changing the locks upon my demand. I know they'll soon figure out that they're changed and demand a key for "emergencies" and they are too touchy feely to sit them down to explain to them that I don't want them up here just because.

[rdy2rac with]

When they ask for a key tell them that you have only one copy & need to get more made. Then just conveniently be too busy to get it made (I know real hard to be too busy huh :D ).

[Lisa]

I don't think your insane at all. That would make me mad also. Just tell them that your "neighbor" has a key in case of an emergency. ;)

[Mrs. July]

You're not wrong for feeling this way. I would be pretty ticked off too if my parents or in-laws did this and agree with telling them someone else has the key for emergencies.

[angelrenee]

You know, I'd be pretty mean in this situation, touchy feely or not. Noonw but you and Tommy deserves a key. I honestly have never had a situation where I needed someone other than myself to have a key for an emergency if I was any where near town. If I wasn't, I'd give someone a key temporarily so they could feed the animals.

I'd just tell them no and if they ask why then tell them it's because they already broke your trust by using the key for nonemergencies. But that's me.

[pikachu0519]

I don't blame you at all. You gave them a key for emergencies, not to come in and critique your housecleaning skills. I'd be ticked too.

[abbygirl]

Krysti --

That is crazy that they just barge in your home like that and look around while you're gone. I think changing the locks is the smartest decision. My MIL has a key to our house in case we need her help with the dogs but she is never there unless asked! I would die and I am such a clean freak that I like to have things picked up when someone is stopping by.

Keep us updated......

[Life201]

Krysti,
You are 100% justified in your feelings! That was a problem we had with my in-laws. When they would come to visit, they always insisted on getting here on Friday afternoons before we were home from work. There was NO reason for that. My mother in law was a big snoop and actually broke my jewelry box trying to get into it when it was locked once – and we were home when she did that! We had to put locks on our bedroom door in the middle of the night that night to keep her out!
If I’m not there, I don’t want people, regardless of who they are, in my home, unless they have a reason to be there. There are people that I trust, like my best friends, or maybe even my mom or sister, but they do reasonably show respect. Even my mother had limitations when she lived near because she criticized my housekeeping. That’s why we live 5 hours away now!

[tifferoo]

I think you are justified. I would have asked my mom why didn't she clean it up for me if it was such a big problem. My mama will make remarks but when I was working 2 jobs, she knew better than to be really serious about how I was keeping MY House.

[Tearianna]

Originally posted by tifferoo
I would have asked my mom why didn't she clean it up for me if it was such a big problem.

:biglaugh: Now that would be a great response!!

[HeavenLeigh]

OMG, I'm so pissed AGAIN. Dad said yesterday he may come up today *while I was at school* to look at my washer since it finally shot the wad last night. I thought hehehe.....c'mon. Maybe this will give you the hint. :rolleyes: :fmad: Well he gets here and can't get it open....DUH. Mom comes up and tries and couldn't DUH so Dad finally jacks around until he gets it opend. I had been having problems w/ the door before. Once it's locked you can push it a certain way and it comes open.........that's another *yet not the main* reason I had it changed. Seems like it still does it. After telling me he doesn't know how I walk around in my bedroom (all my closet stuff is all over the place) he asks for a key "in case they need to get in"...........:fmad: Then bitches because I lie and tell him that the extras are at home. I'm so sick of this shit I could die. I don't want them in my freakin house when I'm not here unless it's a dire emergency! I feel like a 12 year old having to obey and give them a key. I know it will hurt them if I don't and I don't want that. They are great parents and have always helped me in any and every way possible but good grief, stay out of my house!

Okay, I just had to vent

[angelrenee]

Sometimes mommies and daddies need rules, too, though. Think about when you were a kid and they set some rule you didn't like. You'd get mad, I'm sure, but in the end you'd forgive them. They will probably do the same - most parents do.

Your mom and dad just committed a serious crime here and you probably ought to say something to them (you don't need to call it a crime though :)). As much as it might hurt their feelings they need to know that you are a grown up now and your house is not simply an extension of their own.

Honestly, if you find someone who begins to live there, what's going to happen when they think some burglar is trying to come in and has your mom and dad arrested? Could happen. I'm sure that would hurt way more than not getting to have a key and knowing why.

[jana]

OMG Krysti! That is so incredibly frustrating. Can you get somebody to come fix the door so it doesn't randomly open?

I think probably the best thing to do would just be to sit them down and tell them what you just said: that they are awesome and helpful and you really appreciate everything they do/have done for you but that you need to have them respect your personal space.

Set some boundaries for them; it sounds like they really need that.