In-Laws- share

[time2fly]

Okay, I know I'm not alone here. Please share your in-law "woes". I'm not out to "BASH" anyone. But we could all use some support in this area. How do you deal with the everyday issues? Anyone have to deal with a gossiping in-law who doesn't seem to care about you and your feelings? I'm a wall-flower, and a decent human being. But my in-laws, they don't like me. I'm not into gossipping or making a "Mountain out of a mole-hill" everyday. I live the simple life. I hate confrontation. But I love life! Especially me, my husband and 3 young children. Can anyone else relate to the "in-law" pressures?

[jana]

Not gossiping and pressures exactly, but my in-laws are insane (except my siblings-in-law) and we have nothing to do with them. :)

[HeavenLeigh]

Thankfully I am In-law free now but when I was married I had HORRIBLE problems with my in-laws. They are both certified nuts and I would still, to this very day, love to claw their eyes out.

Stand your ground gurlie. Don't let anyone treat you wrong.

[Mommy_To_Jordon]

ugh....don't get me started on my brother and sister in law....*cringes*

[laughter]

don't get me started on my brother and sister in law....*cringes*

Yep me to, my brother and SIL drive me crazy along with my mother thinking that they are the greatest couple ever. :rolleyes:

[angelrenee]

I like my in laws for the most part but sometimes they drive me nuts. Their latest had to do with drawing names for Christmas (which I told them I would not participate in) and they went behind my back and put my name in anyway. Stupid in the whole scheme of things but it kind of goes back to them always being just them and not taking well to people messing with it. They're not nasty about it but they show that they don't like it.

I realized thought that part of the problem is that DH has two parents in their 60s and not of shining health. He also has two sisters - one divorced with one child and one who is gay with no steady partner. Then when you look back in the family line, you realize that practically since coming to this country in the first place, they've all always lived in the same area. We, at an hour away, are some fo the few not still in Jeff City or Cole county! I realized this year that they are used to two things: a) noone leaving and b) noone having a family outside of themselves that they care about. I throw a wrench in that because frst off, I love my family who is very far away. Second, I firmly believe that when you marry you become a separate family that happens to have ties to the old ones. You do visit and you do make an effort to be with them for special events, but when it comes down to it, the new two person (soon to be three) family comes first. Period.

This year, I think we'll still spend Christmas eve with them, but after Patrick comes, I don't think they're going to be too happy with having to see us on a day other than their family traditional...


Oh, I forgot to answer the question. :rolleyes: They don't gossip so much as they plan things amongst themselves and expect us to drop everything to drive the hour to participate.

As for everyday issues, I tell them what I think in the nicest way I can and then just shrug if they tell me I shouldn't feel that way. I'm not changing my mind on the important stuff just for them. Now if it's not important, I just go with it (like going bowling when I'm injured and can't participate). If I can't come up with a nice way to express myself, I just remove myself from the conversation. They usually get the point.

[Mel-icious]

My family drives T up a wall with a drink in his hand. :biglaugh: Think Everybody Loves Raymond, always dropping by. Seriously, some of them do get under his skin, poor baby, but for the most part if they are doing something to him that is upsetting to our relationship we try to fix it.

As for my inlaws, I never had the pleasure of meeting my hubby's parents before they passed. :( I did meet his sisters, who he isn't close with, so we don't have any problems there. ;)

[Tearianna]

I wish there was a way to disown my in-laws. They are downright cruel sometimes. It always amazes me that someone as wonderful as DH could have come from a family like the one he was raised in ....

[yonksgirl]

I wish there was a way to disown my in-laws. They are downright cruel sometimes. It always amazes me that someone as wonderful as DH could have come from a family like the one he was raised in ....

You have said it all

[FarmGirl]

I love my in-laws to bits... they really are good, kind hearted people... BUT!

My mother-in-law can talk like no one I have ever known before... talk talk talk talk talk... it can truly drive a peron nutty. She goes to the store and finds a good deal on coffee filters (or anything) and then has to call and tell us all, and I truly mean all, of the details... who said what to whom when and why it was said and where it was said, and who was wearing what, and then who said what about that, and every conversation is word for word... and she said.. so i said, and then so and so came over and said. A 30 second conversation turns into a 10 minute story... and the conversation was't anything important anyway! It was about coffee filters for crying out loud! And... you hear it 5 times! And she talks so fast you can't tell her she already told you. Its really bad when they drive anywhere... wow, the details we ordinary people miss while driving... that new Toyota, such a cute car, have no idea who owns it, but it had new tags on it. Or what about the long ditch off of whatever road that they were mowing. I mean really... the truly boring stuff makes for excellent conversation. I have to take asprin before I even go visit.

The worst tho... my mother-in-law has a fit when she hears about animal abuse, truly gets upset and says "why would anyone do that?"... and she means it. But then she not only laughs, but encourages, her neighbor to shoot the squirrels who eat her bird seed - and with a bb gun, so it doesn't kill them, but makes them suffer! Oh it pisses me off to no end.. I tell her every time... look, its wrong, its cruel, what you do is awful and evil... but she truly just laughs and says "But my birds (wild birds, not really hers) will starve" and she really, truly believes its ok. No matter what I say, she thinks I am over reacting. I told her about 3 weeks ago, that if I heard about it happening again, I was going to contact someone and report them for animal cruelity. They truly think I am joking... sorry, but I will call, I don't care if it causes conflict, they're causing pain! Oh it makes me mad... they all have these stupid double standards, and it drives me crazy!

Ok, I'm done now :D

[Life201]

We have NOTHING to do with my in-laws - as a matter of fact, we filed harrassment charges last year because they wouldn't leave us alone! Talk about meddling and being crazy!

My mother is coming around, but she and Mike don't get along and not sure whther that will ever be fixed. (she thinks she's always right)

My real dad, on the other hand, is great and we all love each other and get along great.

[time2fly]

Thank you all for sharing! Now I don't feel so alone! Some powerful, supportive messages came from your posts. One of the strongest is not letting the in-laws try and control you and your thoughts. In my 21 years with my dh, my in-laws have always led me to question myself, my parenting, even my choice of foods. Starting to believe that they are INSANE! They are the ones with the issues. God will take care of it...I leave it all in his hands. Thanks again gals!

[andrea]

i get along with his family pretty good i think. I will call his mom on the phone just to talk and we will go shopping and out to lunch about once aweek execpt in winter time since i dont really like driving in the snow..

his brothers are ok, we only see them around the hoildays or if we go to his parents firm since one of the brothers works there

his sister is ok, she lives across country from us... i was pretty p.o. to find out she had to have her wedding right before us and i mean she had her's september 1 and us september 22 so i was pretty p.o. and she knew there parents already booked hotel rooms and flights to our wedding (which was in vegas) and she tried to get them to cancel our wedding and come to her's