Csara
12-07-2003, 10:26 PM
At around 6:30 one recent Wednesday evening, the singles began to gather, as singles often do, at a trendy Manhattan bar/lounge. The difference this night, for these singles, was that no one was going to go home without having been engaged in a few conversations. Did I say "a few"? I meant 20. Yep — 20 conversations each, guaranteed. The place was packed with an equal number of men and women who had signed up to participate in the launch of "SpeedMatching," the latest variation on the speed dating phenomenon. There was even a celebrity element to the event: On hand for the kickoff was Alex Michel, the original protagonist of reality TV's "The Bachelor".
Here's how it works
Speed dating gives participants 4 minutes of conversation with 20 prospective dates over the course of the evening. Each participant keeps a scorecard to indicate which of their speed dates they'd like to see again. One-way expressions of interest count as strikeouts; but when both parties request it, each receives contact information for the other.
"It's a relatively new phenomenon that I'm looking forward to doing more," said Michel, 33, who had tried speed dating once. "It's a way to meet a whole bunch of singles in one night. What you talk about in the four minutes is up to you, and whether it goes anywhere afterward is up to you, but there's something kind of nice about the fact that there is a system. Because it's an organized event with some rules about how it works, it actually relieves one of the burdens of making a connection. It spares you a lot of awkwardness, and I think that's great, because there are a lot of single people out there who are looking to make a connection find love, and if just shyness and the challenges of that first awkward discussion are what's holding them back, and you can help to alleviate some of that, I think it's a good thing."
Here's how it went
The evening got underway with a half-hour of socializing at the bar. Some singles were immediately in the thick of it, talking one-on-one or in groups. Others kept to themselves — some studying a tip sheet that suggested conversation starters, and others just savoring a drink.
Jessica, 33, has been on two or three first dates with men she met at previous speed dating events and called herself "cautiously optimistic" about the concept. "It's been good enough that I'm willing to keep trying it," she said. "It's not easy to find someone to click with."
"I think it's very contemporary, like very modern — it's a fad, and I like to join in the fads before they're outdated," said Joachim, 27, who was there on a dare from a friend who didn't dare come himself. A first-time speed dater, he had no expectations of the evening other than to add to his collection of anecdotes. "It's all about the stories," he said.
Another first timer, Doug, 39, had a different perspective. What drew him to the event? "I'd like to meet somebody, and I'm trying to be proactive instead of just waiting for something to happen. I haven't really tried a lot of different avenues in dating other than just going out in the normal course of social activities, but I haven't taken the step to actually go into an organized dating or singles scene. I'm searching for someone perhaps to share the rest of my life with. I find it exciting, and I'm looking forward to the challenge."
And then?
By halftime, when the singles had completed 10 speed dates each and took a break, the atmosphere had changed to that of a party fully under way. Everyone mingled in one large group at the bar.
It would be another 48 hours before the scorecard results were all tabulated and the singles knew which of the prospective dates they liked had liked them back. But by now everyone had his or her game face firmly in place.
As first-timer Nicola, 30, put it, "To be honest, I don't think I'm going to find the love of my life. It's just about fun, it really is. But you never know."
heh, very interesting concept. DH and I actually saw this on a sitcom not too long ago. So for you single ladies, what do you think? Would this be something you're interested in? Ever done it? Even if you aren't single, would you have enjoyed this if you were? I think it would be a cool way to talk to and meet a lot of different people.
Here's how it works
Speed dating gives participants 4 minutes of conversation with 20 prospective dates over the course of the evening. Each participant keeps a scorecard to indicate which of their speed dates they'd like to see again. One-way expressions of interest count as strikeouts; but when both parties request it, each receives contact information for the other.
"It's a relatively new phenomenon that I'm looking forward to doing more," said Michel, 33, who had tried speed dating once. "It's a way to meet a whole bunch of singles in one night. What you talk about in the four minutes is up to you, and whether it goes anywhere afterward is up to you, but there's something kind of nice about the fact that there is a system. Because it's an organized event with some rules about how it works, it actually relieves one of the burdens of making a connection. It spares you a lot of awkwardness, and I think that's great, because there are a lot of single people out there who are looking to make a connection find love, and if just shyness and the challenges of that first awkward discussion are what's holding them back, and you can help to alleviate some of that, I think it's a good thing."
Here's how it went
The evening got underway with a half-hour of socializing at the bar. Some singles were immediately in the thick of it, talking one-on-one or in groups. Others kept to themselves — some studying a tip sheet that suggested conversation starters, and others just savoring a drink.
Jessica, 33, has been on two or three first dates with men she met at previous speed dating events and called herself "cautiously optimistic" about the concept. "It's been good enough that I'm willing to keep trying it," she said. "It's not easy to find someone to click with."
"I think it's very contemporary, like very modern — it's a fad, and I like to join in the fads before they're outdated," said Joachim, 27, who was there on a dare from a friend who didn't dare come himself. A first-time speed dater, he had no expectations of the evening other than to add to his collection of anecdotes. "It's all about the stories," he said.
Another first timer, Doug, 39, had a different perspective. What drew him to the event? "I'd like to meet somebody, and I'm trying to be proactive instead of just waiting for something to happen. I haven't really tried a lot of different avenues in dating other than just going out in the normal course of social activities, but I haven't taken the step to actually go into an organized dating or singles scene. I'm searching for someone perhaps to share the rest of my life with. I find it exciting, and I'm looking forward to the challenge."
And then?
By halftime, when the singles had completed 10 speed dates each and took a break, the atmosphere had changed to that of a party fully under way. Everyone mingled in one large group at the bar.
It would be another 48 hours before the scorecard results were all tabulated and the singles knew which of the prospective dates they liked had liked them back. But by now everyone had his or her game face firmly in place.
As first-timer Nicola, 30, put it, "To be honest, I don't think I'm going to find the love of my life. It's just about fun, it really is. But you never know."
heh, very interesting concept. DH and I actually saw this on a sitcom not too long ago. So for you single ladies, what do you think? Would this be something you're interested in? Ever done it? Even if you aren't single, would you have enjoyed this if you were? I think it would be a cool way to talk to and meet a lot of different people.