What makes it work?

[Csara]

What is the number one thing you would say makes your relationship work?

[andrea]

Friendship!!!!:D

[Mel-icious]

What makes Tommy and I work, mutual love, respect, and lust! :) In all seriousness, I have been in three very long term relationships, in all three there was no mutual respect, no open communication, and it just wasn't the right person for me. When I found Tommy after a short time I knew he was the one. There wasn't anything I couldn't tell him, or anything I wouldn't want to share. He is in every sense of the word my best friend, and I always wanted to be with him. When you feel that way about a person, you treat them the same way as you did when you met. We let each other be ourselves, we know we discuss everything and anything. We know that romance is also an important part of us, so he surprises me with little lovey things, or I surprise him with them, we turn the tv off some nights and have a few :beer: light some candles, just throw on our favorite slow song and dance or talk. For Tommy and I it just comes natural, we just really love each other and respect each other, and love to be around one another, so I guess that is in a sense that is what makes it work! He's my soulmate and I love him! :kiss: (I am so not good at expressing myself)

[Csara]

Originally posted by Ivanna Humpalot
(I am so not good at expressing myself)

Well atleast someone in your family is!! LOL....just kidding, just kidding! :D

So now to answer my own question.........
For us it is a combination of things: mutual respect and admiration, communication, and genuine caring and love for eachother. We are more than best friends, we are family, which means no matter what, we will always be there for eachother and will always love eachother, unconditionally.

[andrea]

hey i like both of yours answers i pick choice b and c LOL just playin

[meliz]

Its very simple. He does my every bidding!

[meliz]

Jist kidding... mutual respect is crucial. And listening to each other is very important. And our senses of humour-- its gotten us through alot already. Hubby is a brilliant comic, and everytime he comes up with some quirky statement, I bust a gut, am astounded by his quick wit, and love him all the more.

[Csara]

After reading your response Meliz, I'd like to add having a sense of humor to my list as well. Infact, at my best friend's bridal shower, we were all asked to write down a "pearl of wisdom" for the couple. Mine was "always have a sense of humor, about eachother, about yourself, and about the situations and experiences you go through". My husband and I also seem to get through a lot by having a sense of humor. You just can't take everything so seriously....it makes life a lot easier.

[Ellyanne777]

I thought I would move this back up to the top. So far I agree with everyone on thier ways that make thier marriage work. Mark and I were hit with alot upon our return from the honeymoon, tons of bills, car problems, etc. So I have to say the main thing that has helped us lately is understanding and a sense of humor.

[nicolef888]

The main things that have made our marriage so successful is our communication and the love that we have for each other.

[Sassy]

Communication, Love, Trust, friendship, Sense of humor,

I think that if you don't have communication or trust you don't have a relationship, because how can you if you don't talk and you think that the other is always out cheating or something. Also a good thing to think about is money and how you both deal with it if you can compromise on how money is spent then you have a really good thing going for you cause no a days divorce rates are up due to lack of compromise on money situations. Friendship is always a factor, my SO is my best friend he knows everything about me and I tell him everything, because I know nothing I say to him will make him judge me, and the same goes for him. I love the fact that we never really argue and that we can talk anything through with out any one getting mad. I realized that when we went camping with two other couples, we were the only couple that wasn't at each others throats the whole time and that is nice.:D

[ksix]

I tried to answer twice to this last week, and both times my computer froze up...maybe I'm not supposed to answer this!

Tonight my husband mentioned we were coming up on our 1 year anniversary, and I asked him why he thought we had a good marriage. He said "cuz we love each other alot and we didn't rush into marriage, and we work through things together." And I think that sums it up pretty well. We talk about everything...and no matter what the problem is--be it family, work or financial--we're both careful to not place the blame on the other, even if they are guilty! and instead of saying "You did this wrong" we just say "Ok, how do we fix it". I think that's one of our strongest points.

But what actually makes it work...I think Meliz hit it on the head when she jokingly said "He does my bidding!". Because we both do whatever it takes to make the other one's life as happy as we possibly can make it. If I have to stay up till midnight doing laundry so he has clean clothes the next morning, I do. If he has to forgo a nap on Sunday afternoon to help me tackle the dishes (like he did today), he does...then he goes and takes a nap! ;) We do whatever it takes to keep the other happy. I'd do anything for him...and I know he'd do the same for me.

And a sence of humor definatly helps!!! :)

[Deana]

I've been thinking about this lately because it seems like our love just keeps growing! Some things that make it work for us is that we are partners - we are a team - we are 100% on each other's side. We are really best best friends! And we have such a deep love and care for each other. We would do just about anything to take care of the other person. And humor - humor in the good times and the topsy-turvy times. I just really, really love him and don't let little petty things get in the way of our love.

[ksix]

Being a team is important, I think Deana. Sometimes when we're doing something together, especially something he really doesn't want to do, like dishes, I'll do a little dance and yell: "Go Team < Our Last Name >!!!!!!" He always rolls his eyes at me, but it lightens the mood, and reminds us we are a team...even if the team members aren't quite all there sometimes! ;)

And one we learned for the millionth time this past week: Honesty and Communication! A huge issue came up for me, and I wanted to keep it in, and deal with it alone, and try to solve it...but instead I went to him, and told him what I was up against, and even though it was out of our hands, just being able to talk together, and being honest about what we were going through...when the resolution came (very unfavorably for us) we were both prepared and we know how we'll handle it together. If I'd kept it all in to myself, and the resolution came...it would've hurt my husband to know I'd been carrying that stress alone all week.

[Toryah]

Love and respect (i know thats two :) ) but i think that with those then you can work on the rest if its not already there :)

Bryan is my best friend and thats part of the reason that i love him so much, it all comes hand in hand for us if you know what i mean? I knows its different for every relationship...but thats how it works for us :D

[kathysue]

I would have to say Friendship and TRUST!!!!


thats what makes myne so great!!!!!

[Csara]

A new one I think works is to make sure you don't stop doing the little things. It is so easy to fall into routine and take for granted all the small things that actually mean so much. My husband and I make a point to not do that.